Thoughts on Being Haggard

Last Sunday, Rev. Ted Haggard, the founder of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado which has over 14,000 members, admitted to being "guilty of sexual immorality" after a gay man claimed to have had "drug-fueled trysts with him".

Haggard was a vocal opponent of same sex marriage and had preached that homosexual activity went against the teachings of the Bible.

Many bloggers and editorialists were quick to jump on Haggard as a hypocrite, which he certainly seems to be. But I couldn't help but feel sorry for Haggard. In a letter to his former congregation, Haggard wrote "I am a deceiver and a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life."

As a gay man that was raised in a conservative Christian family, I related to Haggard's desire to pretend to be something he's not; straight. I lied to the people I was closest to and hid my true feelings from them because I was told all my life that it was wrong to feel the things I did and that if I acted on the intractable feelings inside of me, I would be committing a deeply immoral act.

I came to accept that there is nothing wrong with me or with being gay. Poor Haggard is planning on entering counseling with James Dobson and two other men, and seems to have a nearly religious faith that these men will be able to give him the "healing and restoration" that his prayers were unable to provide. I believe Haggard, who has already tried so hard to fight against that which he finds repulsive, will find his sexuality unchanged.

I hope some day people like Haggard will be encouraged to use all of their talents for constructive purposes instead being pushed by society or their religion to fight an unwinnable and destructive war against themselves. Perhaps the members of his congregation that claim to love him so much will forgive him for the mistakes of his past and accept him as he is, without asking him to hide or try to change something he cannot. Perhaps some day soon, he will be able to do the same for himself. I hope so.

The Last Days of Summer: Seattle

Wow, loyal readers, I can't believe it's November already! I know I haven't posted in a while, so you'd have to be really loyal to still be checking back.

As for the rest of my summer, which I promised I'd fill you in on, I was in Seattle. Sam and I went out at the beginning of August. He was working and I was looking for a job. Though the Firm I worked for had treated me well and was filled with great people, Sam and I want to be in Seattle. Unfortunately, my search was not successful, and I'm still trying to find a firm out there that wants to hire me.

I did get in some hiking while I was out there. I climbed Hidden Lakes Peak, and let me tell you, it was one of the best hikes I've ever done. The weather was perfect, cloudy in the morning with no rain and sunny in the afternoon. It made for a hike at a pleasurable temperature with stunning views from the top.

Here's a view from the trail on the way up.


This is the hidden lake in Hidden Lake's Peak.


And here's the view of Mount Raineer, which I intend to climb some day.


Eden and Tym also came up to see us for a few days. They stayed at the house we were renting from a friend of Sam's. It was so nice to have a house that we stayed home almost every night they were in town. I miss these ladies terribly, and I can't wait until we are both back on the same side of the continent. Here's a picture of them which they probably wouldn't want me to post.


The only other big news is that I am now an uncle! My beautiful neice Anya, born on the same day as my dad, is pictured below. Way to go Sean and Amy!


Besides that, there really hasn't been much to update you on since I got back to school. I've been studying a lot. All my classes are unfortunately reading intensive. Sam and I are trying to get out and see the city a little more, with some success.